STEP TWELVE

 

Step Twelve is about carrying the message and practicing the principles embodied in these steps as a way of life. We do this because our spirit has awakened and we know its because we took these steps. Naturally, we want to shout it from the rooftops. It isn't necessary to go that far. There are lots of people all around us who are suffering the same as we once did. They are not that hard to find. I find them in meetings.

Sometimes the new fellows I sponsor wonder why I go to so many beginner meetings. I'm not a beginner anymore. The answer is simple. That's where you find the new people. A common misconception in 12-step programs is that we go there to get better and then once we've licked the problem, then we need to cut back on our meetings and go out and enjoy life. We should do the enjoying part. For years we stayed at home with the door locked, the drapes drawn, drinking in the dark. Or gambling at the bar. Or working ourselves into the ground or whatever the case might have been. We shied away from life and all its realities. Now that we are sober we ought to re-integrate as much as possible back into life.

But we should never forget how we got sober. Remember those old-timers who took all that time out of their lives to see that we felt welcome. The ones that seemed to be at every meeting we went to. Well, that's us now. I'm not saying you have to “live” in AA or NA or GA. I went to meetings every day when I got sober. I still go to three or four a week, sometimes more if I'm helping out a new guy. As I mentioned before, I've opened my home to these guys (and gals) and not just for a meeting, but lots of other times me and a new guy will sit around reading the book, going over the steps or just talking about cars or baseball.

Someone once asked me what was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I don't even have to think about my reply. It's the look in their eyes when they realize they don't have to live like that anymore. They come in the same as we all did, head down, staring at the floor, confused, embarrassed, lonely. And after a few days, they start to look a bit better, they might even talk back when you speak to them. In a week, they're full of life. We are often aware of the transformation long before they are. A fellow told me once that he had a spiritual awakening the day I took my sunglasses off and sat up front.

I am convinced that one of the reasons I have been sober as long as I have is because of the work I do with new people. Every time I go through the twelve steps with a new person, I take the twelve steps again, with myself. So, it's safe for me to say I've taken them at least 50 times. I don't think that makes me a step guru because every time I take them I learn something new about myself.

Probably the biggest test you will ever face is applying these steps outside of whatever fellowship you're in. At home. On the job. At the ball field. In rush hour traffic.

In the fourth step, there's a prayer that we can say whenever people get under our skin and start pushing our buttons. “God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.” Its easier said than done. I hope someday I'll be as well as everyone thinks I think I am. Then I won't ever need to say that prayer. But, that day hasn't arrived yet. I'm a work in progress.

I hope you have learned something from these essays on the Twelve Steps. I know I did.