Step Six

 

I was told that once I completed Step 5, I should go somewhere where it was quiet and spend a hour or so carefully reflecting on the first 5 steps. I should ask myself if I had taken them to the best of my ability. Let's see what conclusions I arrived at:

I was sleeping in a cardboard box under the bridge. I had no job, no place to live, my personal possessions could fit in a shopping bag, my family had all but disowned me and the only friends I had were a bunch of drunks at the local AA club. I had tried 39 times to stop drinking and I was unsuccessful in my attempts. I think it was safe to conclude that I was powerless over alcohol and that it had made my life unmanageable.

When I was under the bridge one day, sitting on one of the concrete pylons, smoking a TM I had got from a friend down at the meeting, it occurred to me that I hadn't had a drink in almost two months and that ever since I had humbled myself enough to ask God for help, I hadn't even wanted to take a drink. Here it was another two months later and the thought of drinking had never occurred to me. So I had come to believe that there was a power greater than Bernie that could restore me to some modicum of sanity.

That day under the bridge was the day I actually took Step Three for the first time. I had taken it every day since and my life was improving. So I was giving step three a determined and persistent trial.

I had completed my 4th step inventory according to the clear-cut directions in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and I had admitted my findings to God, to myself, and to another human being. So I was satisfied that I had taken these steps to the best of my ability.

My sponsor used to say if you do the first five steps the way they're supposed to be done, they give you Step Six as a freebie. This step is one of the easiest to explain. In step 4, I learned what my defects of character were - the Liabilities from column 4. In step 5, I admitted those defects. And in step 6, I become ready to have those defects of character removed. It's that simple. Why would I want to continue to be selfish, dishonest, angry and afraid? I had gained nothing and lost everything by holding on to those things. Of course I was ready to get rid of them. And how do I get rid of them?

That's the next step.